tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81902562011-04-21T14:11:31.331-04:00This simply contains the random thoughts of a digital sherpa named Michele. Maybe they're not so randum..... maybe they're a chronicle....dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.comBlogger701100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1167841964557894162007-01-03T08:51:00.000-05:002007-01-03T12:10:01.140-05:00

OverallIt was a good year. It was year two of my marriage, which is by far the best thing that's happened to me in my life. My spouse, Nicole, and her two kids have been the biggest part of my life for another year. It's been fun, hard, exciting, enlightening, trying, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Health-wise, things have been mixed. I didn't get any major colds or illnesses. I joined

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1155321066901882792006-07-07T14:25:00.000-04:002006-08-11T14:33:28.750-04:00

One of the things that we SOs notice is drastic changes in our TG partners’ behavior and the wide variance of positions that drastic change can take on the spectrum of transition. It matters not to me whether the TG partner is a cross-dresser (CD), a transsexual (TS), or anything in between. I think of it as part self-esteem issue, part control issues, and a lot of times just plain bad behavior.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1151250049304261562006-06-25T11:32:00.000-04:002006-06-25T23:02:27.483-04:00

This is a column I wrote for a newsletter for a TG support organizaiton I belong to. A friend is the editor and she asked if I'd write a column. So, I did!I thought long and hard about a topic for this column. I settled on this one because I believe it reflects a reality that few in the Transgender community talk about or acknowledge. Some may argue with that statement. However, this is a topic

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1151416419832532962006-06-15T09:16:00.000-04:002006-06-29T15:46:00.220-04:00

As many of you know, Nicole participated in the American Diabetes Association’s (ADA) Tour de Cure on June 11. The Tour takes place in over 80 cities nationwide to benefit ADA. Nicole decided to ride in the Tour in Stillwater, NY, near Albany since she has family in the area. That way we could visit aunts, uncles, and cousins and ride as well. Nicole was on the Delmar Chain Gang Team with her

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1145832001001148252006-06-04T13:39:00.000-04:002006-06-25T11:31:33.130-04:00

What's it worth to you? "Peace of mind" usually means the absence of mental stress or anxiety. There's even a song titled "Peace Of Mind" by Boston.Now if you're feeling kinda low about the dues you've been payingFuture’s coming much too slowAnd you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayingCan't decide on which way to goI understand about indecisionBut I don't care if I get behindPeople

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1147817153524033312006-04-27T17:48:00.000-04:002006-05-16T18:33:29.876-04:00

My baby's riding for the cure! Yep, she's doing the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure for 2006. If you want to contribute to her fund raising efforts and help her reach her goal and support a very worthy cause, click here. And thanx!!!The ride Nicole's participating in is 25 miles long and is up in New York, in the Albany area. We'll go up in June a few days before the ride, visit with

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1145020633468785212006-04-14T09:16:00.000-04:002006-05-16T17:46:15.506-04:00

We went to see Kinky Boots last night. I really liked it. What a neat movie; it's impossible not to like it! I found it uplifting. It comes out in national distribution in a week or two.It's a movie by the director of Calendar Girls. It's about a guy whose dad dies and leaves him the family dynasty - a men's shoe factory. He teams up with an employee and a feisty female impersonator in order to

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1141934224318976762006-03-09T14:52:00.000-05:002006-03-13T17:18:29.800-05:00

They're here! Well, they were here a few weeks ago, just before those 11 inches of snow we got. It didn't stop them! So I guess this means Spring is coming; it's on its way. Finally..... this picture was taken right next to the stoop by our front door.That is about it for now.... too proccupied with stuff happening at home.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1140740704540747872006-02-23T18:38:00.000-05:002006-02-23T19:39:14.660-05:00

I need to vent...... I presume that anyone with kids will sympathize, but if you don't sympathize....t-o-u-g-h! I am pissed!!I tried to spend a day working today. I had documents to prepare for a major proposal due tomorrow. It's enough that today I've had to deal with adults who seem to be totally incapable of making even the smallest freaking decision at work, but I also had to deal with the

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1140486592093111812006-02-20T20:34:00.000-05:002006-02-21T10:55:27.573-05:00

Nicole and I went to see Transamerica today. Wow! I was impressed, amazed, and in wonder at how well the character and her experience were portrayed. Instead of portraying the film as a social polemic or some kind of trans statement, it is simply a relaxed portrayal of one transgender person and her experience the week before her SRS.The acting by Felicity Huffman and Kevin Zegers was superb. I

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1140376327178590962006-02-19T13:53:00.000-05:002006-02-19T14:37:01.320-05:00

This morning after breakfast Nicole came to me and apologized that in the last 6 months or so she's been the focus for so many things what with her healing from all that's gone on since last August. I told her not to worry about it, but I also accepted the apology by thanking her for mentioning it........ Because it is true. She has been front and center for a while now. I've gone with her to

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1140181923379179682006-02-17T08:07:00.000-05:002006-02-17T08:59:33.466-05:00

Nicole and I read the Post today over breakfast as we usually do. She reads the comics, which I seldom do. One comic stood out to her and she shared it with me. It says a lot to me, especially about some of the things I've been writing about, so.... take a look:Then there was this article (part of the Family Almanac series), also in the Post today. It kind of addresses some of what I've been

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1139779657385249902006-02-12T16:34:00.000-05:002006-02-12T16:28:18.886-05:00

Well, those of us on the upper east coast just got hit with a big snow storm. It was a very wet and heavy snow. Here in the northern MD suburbs of Washington DC we got 11" of snow. Some got 21" and Baltimore, they say on the radio, got 24"+!!View From Our Front Door (After Digging Out)Snow On Our GrillOur Weather VaneWe dug out late in the morning (well, Nicole did most of the digging by getting

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1139344830563337192006-02-07T15:39:00.000-05:002006-02-12T15:31:42.783-05:00

I heard this song on XMRadio today as Tracy Chapman was interviewed on The Loft. I never really listened to much of her music before, so I had never heard the song. It really makes one think.....If you knew that you would die today,Saw the face of god and love,Would you change?Would you change?If you knew that love can break your heartWhen you're down so low you cannot fallWould you change?Would

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1138885674092301802006-02-02T08:00:00.000-05:002006-02-02T08:07:54.103-05:00

Here are two telling cartoons from today's Washington Post:

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1138802923614519642006-02-01T10:31:00.000-05:002006-02-07T12:33:34.576-05:00

You wouldn't believe the response I've gotten from my last post! Wow!! It interests me that most of the positive responses have come from TG spouses and most of the negative responses have come from their wives/SOs. Hmmmmm... What does that say?So, it seems that wives/SOs are really mad that my post, in their opinion, defends the actions of the TG spouse. That was far from my intent. I do not

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1138126386819535292006-01-26T17:30:00.000-05:002006-02-13T09:05:53.483-05:00

I've been wanting to write about this for some time. Since Nicole has just had her labiaplasty and BA (breast augmentation) surgeries (documented here) I have thought about this more and more. There's also the fact that we talked about this (not for the first time either) last night. So, here goes....For quite a while, since Nicole went full time in August 2004, I have been observing many of our

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1138224961434193692006-01-25T16:12:00.000-05:002006-01-25T16:42:13.656-05:00

Monday I sent off an email to Meltzer. Nicole and I both forgot to ask him how big the implants were that he put in. I also asked him a few other questions, mostly about the pains she's got. I finally got a reply today, and passed the answer on to Nicole. Turns out he used 400cc implants. That, he said, should make her a large B cup or a small C cup. Right now she's still saying they're too big,

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1138223528013744152006-01-21T20:05:00.000-05:002006-01-25T16:12:08.023-05:00

Well, we got home okay. This morning we got up with the chickens and checked out of the hotel. We went to the Denny's by the Greenbaum for a quick breakfast. It's open 24hrs/day, which is helpful. Then we headed out to the airport. Returning the car was easy. The new return facility at the Phoenix airport is really nice. All the rental car companies are now located there, instead of being spread

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137806193011225182006-01-20T17:41:00.000-05:002006-02-01T20:19:58.093-05:00

Well, it's been a couple days and I'm still bored. Nicole is, too, but she's also in pain and very tired. Yesterday and today we got up around 08:00, showered, and went out to breakfast. I had suggested going out as opposed to eating here because that would make us move. I'm one of those people that listens when the doctor says some moving around is good and helps in the healing process!

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137607536177208652006-01-18T11:08:00.000-05:002006-01-18T13:10:30.336-05:00

Today I woke up at about 06:30. Nicole had stirred a couple times during the night, but hadn't tried to actually move. I got up to go to the bathroom and came back to bed. By 07:15 I decided to get up. She was stirring and I thought she was awake. I asked if she needed anything. She said no. But I did get her to take some Tylenol. I got up to take a shower. When I got out of the shower she wanted

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137606815451099682006-01-17T21:33:00.000-05:002006-02-01T20:16:50.366-05:00

Well, not much of anything spectacular happened for the rest of the day. Nicole was simply out of it.At about 10:00 someone from the kitchen came by for Nicole's lunch order. I asked if I could have a salad, and I was told that they shouldn't really do that, but ....... maybe. I ordered the chicken fiesta salad. The menu hasn't changed! Nicole ordered a club sandwich, a small salad, and fruit for

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137515249353804042006-01-17T09:28:00.000-05:002006-01-17T11:31:35.530-05:00

I got up at 06:15 and jumped (well, not exactly.... I was half awake!) into the shower. I got myself to the hotel restaurant when it opened at 07:00. I ate, went back to the room, brushed my teeth, and off I went to the Greenbaum. I got here at 08:02!Charlotte was at the desk when I walked onto the floor. She recognized me and we chatted to catch up. It's amazing that the staff remembers us! How

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137479566632384682006-01-16T23:16:00.000-05:002006-01-17T01:34:01.280-05:00

At 17:35 I took off from the hotel and headed back to the Greenbaum. I wasn't hungry at all, so I drove straight there. The doors were still working on auto, so I was able to walk right in. There was a guy cleaning the lobby; her and I were the only ones there. The TV was still on - on FOX and O'Reilly..... ugh! I pulled out my computer and knocked out some work. At about 18:30 Meltzer came out.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137452614307366402006-01-16T15:55:00.000-05:002006-01-16T18:13:57.113-05:00

Nicole went in at 13:00. I sat in the lobby and blogged and played Solitaire on the computer. This Verizon Broadband card is coming in handy!! At about 14:10 a nurse came out to the lobby, just like before, and called me to come back and join Nicole till surgery. She was in bay 8 this time, in bed, in a gown, and under a blanket. All hooked up with a scopolamine patch behind the left ear (for

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137442980143859182006-01-16T13:15:00.000-05:002006-01-16T17:35:54.850-05:00

Nicole got up this morning at 6am so she could have her last meal till tonight. No eating or drinking after 06:30! She ate a bagel with cream cheese and some oatmeal. We had gotten all that at Basha's last night. I stayed in bed for a while longer, we snuggled a bit, then I got up, showered, and went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast while Nicole got showered and dressed.Our appointment at

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137375496357169792006-01-15T18:38:00.000-05:002006-02-12T15:20:18.543-05:00

Well, we got up at about 8:30. We went down to the hotel restaurant and had a very nice breakfast. We went back to the room, brushed our teeth, and decided to go to the Desert Botanical Gardens which is just a few miles away. By then it was past 10:30am. Unfortunately, the PF Chang's Rock n' Roll Marathon was on and we had to detour a couple miles to get there. We were greeted by a couple really

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137373507688748742006-01-15T10:33:00.000-05:002006-01-15T20:06:53.686-05:00

Okay, so it wasn't a perfect trip out here. It has been amusing at times, and exasperating at others.Once we got to the plane yesterday Nicole noticed it was snowing. Nothing much; but there were flakes mixed in with the rain. At take-off time the pilot comes on the system and tells us that they are going to have to de-ice the plane and it will be another 20 minutes. Hmmmm... okay..... Then, 25

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137272208602030972006-01-14T15:52:00.000-05:002006-01-14T15:58:59.523-05:00

Well, we are on the road again. Anxiety levels have abated. It should be okay from here on till Monday. We were a little anxious packing this morning. Trying to remember everything despite having lists so we don't.... The ride to Dulles was brief - no traffic at all. Everyone must be at home for the 'Skins game. Oh, well... we go to the gate in 10 minutes to board. The clouds look ominous outside

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1137204401680697522006-01-13T20:14:00.000-05:002006-01-13T21:10:59.463-05:00

I found this funny on the Internet tonight.....An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He noted how hurricanes at one time were given only female names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she." One of the students raised her hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"The teacher wasn't certain. So he divided

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1136247873102208962006-01-02T18:49:00.000-05:002006-01-09T10:07:35.606-05:00

I've been asked often enough about the experience in Scottsdale, while Nicole and I were there when she had her surgery last year. I've been asked by persons going there for surgery and I've been asked by their partners/significant others as well. So here are my thoughts not otherwise expressed in my blog from August and September of 2005. This is kind of an everything you always wanted to know

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1136048125744197052005-12-31T11:02:00.000-05:002006-01-01T15:42:56.203-05:00

In less than 24 hours this year will end.In some ways I've felt like this little perplexed fella:And other times I've felt like this happy little fella:And a few times I've felt really stupid like this idiot:I saw these pictures in one of those "year in pictures" retrospectives. I couldn't resist because they kind of capture some of those feelings!This has been quite an interesting year indeed. I

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1132840144102234042005-11-24T08:35:00.000-05:002005-11-24T09:03:11.230-05:00

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." [W. T. Purkiser]So it is that every day I thank the goddess for Nicole and the joy and wonder she has brought into my life.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1131479298657874132005-11-08T14:45:00.000-05:002005-11-08T14:48:18.670-05:00

This cartoon from today's Washington Post says it all.....

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1131298190192466252005-11-06T11:54:00.000-05:002005-11-06T13:05:12.210-05:00

I've been reading with interest the goings-on in France lately. The rage of French youth is exploding and France is suffering. Businesses, schools, private and public property are being systematically set afire and destroyed by small, roving gangs of young people who are incensed at the French government's apparent lack of recognition of their forgotten status. These youth are also attacking

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1129601013940379242005-11-05T12:21:00.000-05:002005-11-06T12:20:52.506-05:00

Yep! Over a month! Yikes....... I guess I need to make up for that somehow......... Not!Well, things have proceeded nicely for us. Nicole is doing well. She's had a few unexpected occurrences which she details in her blog. That silver nitrate is evil stuff! I helped her apply it. I thought I was taking precautions against getting it on my fingers, but I'm here to tell you that I screwed up! I

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1127575881829236352005-09-24T11:15:00.000-04:002005-09-24T11:35:38.266-04:00

That line comes from a scene in the remake of the movie The Thomas Crowne Affair. And I use it here to refer to a discussion Nicole and I had at breakfast this morning. She showed me this cartoon from today's Washington Post. The 'toon was a play on the Flashdance movie scene where the main character sits in a chair and has a bucket of water poured on her. The reference in the 'toon is to relief

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1127439943482671652005-09-22T21:26:00.000-04:002005-09-22T21:45:43.943-04:00

Well, things seem to be going well for Nicole. Yey! She's supposed to go back to work Monday. I suspect she'll poop out towards midday, but we'll see.I, on the other hand, have been almost totally listless an uninspired. I am tired all the time, my patience is non-existent, and I've had a tension headache going on and off for a week. I thought it was a migraine, and it may have started out that

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1126662575992282312005-09-13T21:49:00.000-04:002005-09-13T21:51:26.896-04:00

Well, I guess you could say I've been on blogging strike. I haven't blogged in four days! So this shall serve as a catch-up.It seems the world revolves around dilation! When you have to do it four times a day, it sort of takes everything over. No sooner have you gotten over one dilation when you have to do another. It limits what we can do, so we have hung out a lot.Friday 9/9 - we tried to sleep

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1126239726272302752005-09-08T22:52:00.000-04:002005-09-09T01:52:31.690-04:00

Well, today's the big day! Discharge!!!!!!!!I got up at the usual time. I cannot wait to sleep in tomorrow!!!!!I got to the Greenbaum at 08:05. I was almost there when I realized that I had forgotten the bracelets we brought to give as gifts. We had bought some beaultiful beaded bracelets in Columbia, MD, and brought them to give as gifts. I was supposed to bring shampoo this morning because

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1126143543040194742005-09-07T18:50:00.000-04:002005-09-07T21:39:03.086-04:00

Not much changed for this morning. Got up at the same time, showered, headed to the bakery, and came in to the Greenbaum. Traffic was the worst its ever been today, though.When I came down the hall this morning, Charlotte, Nicole's nurse, approached me to let me how Nicole was having a reaction to something and that she had a rash. When I asked what they were doing about it, Charlotte said she

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1126070338111003642005-09-06T22:18:00.000-04:002005-09-07T21:44:00.186-04:00

I got up at the usual time today, showered, and took off. I stopped at a bakery I'd discovered, the Wildflower Bakery. They are right off Frank Lloyd Wright and the 101 in the Sonora Shopping Center. Man, they have gooooooooood coffee! I got Nicole a sourdough roll and me a nine-grain roll. I also got a small loaf of nine-grain bread and a paper.I rolled in to the Greenbaum at 08:30. Traffic was

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125941672782063112005-09-05T18:15:00.000-04:002005-12-28T17:06:31.666-05:00

I woke up this morning at 06:30 and made a mistake. I started reading email. Not a good idea. By the time I looked at my watch it was 07:30.…. time to leave. I hopped in the shower and was out the door at 08:06 – record time!I brought the laundry I had done for Nicole. This time I had remembered the stuff I forgot yesterday. Woo hoo! I got to Greenbaum at about 08:30. Nicole did not have a good

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125887284803981252005-09-04T20:34:00.000-04:002005-09-05T13:34:11.726-04:00

Yah, yah! I know! I haven't posted a thing all day. Sorry!When I left last night I had promised Bobby next door that I'd stop at a drug store and buy her a donut because she didn't have one. I had to go to three different ones before I found a store that carried them. Not Walgreen's, not CVS.... I found it at Osco. They had a little medical supply section. By the time I got to the apartment it

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125768823013022572005-09-03T19:00:00.000-04:002005-09-03T22:07:48.080-04:00

10:10Last night was not a good night for me. At 02:00 the fire alarm went off. It sounded like a smoke detector, but it wasn't mine and the sound was coming out of the speaker system in each resort apartment. It sounded twice and ended. About 20 minutes later it went off again. Same thing. The bloody thing did this every 20 minutes for two hours! By 05:30 I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125685179285658952005-09-02T21:30:00.000-04:002005-09-03T13:19:16.616-04:00

11:11I got into the Greenbaum at about 08:00. I found Nicole had had her IV removed. They gave her her last dose of antibiotics really early and then removed the IV. Then, shortly after I arrived, Nancy came in to remove the two drains Nicole had. It didn't take long. The first one came out with nary a wince, but the second seemed to hurt her a bit. Nothing major, judging from the reaction, but

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125601124666912212005-09-01T22:10:00.000-04:002005-12-28T16:52:13.480-05:00

11:45Whew! Amazing what a good night's sleep can do. Nicole says she slept for 4 hours straight. I had a good night's rest a the apartment, too. I got in to the hospital at 07:50. Nicole was dozing in bed; my coming in woke her up. Nancy, her day nurse whom we met yesterday (Julie's off till Monday), came in a few minutes later and told us that after breakfast Janet would come in to teach Nicole

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125499285284785802005-08-31T18:20:00.000-04:002005-08-31T21:23:43.350-04:00

Note: I am making these timed entries as the day progresses.Each separate timed entry changes as I remember things I forgot.Happy reading! 07:28Well, the night was long, but only for me. Sleeping on that chair was not comfortable! Turns out there are medical technicians at night. She just started after I signed off. This one was a lot noisier than the day tech, and didn't seem as confident. I

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125438432731335112005-08-30T21:30:00.000-04:002005-08-31T00:37:24.676-04:00

Note: I am making these timed entries as the day progresses.Each separate timed entry changes as I remember things I forgot.Happy reading! 11:07Holy Mary mother of you-know-who!!! Aaaaack! We had to be at the Greenbaum Surgery Center by 05:30. What an ungodly hour! I got up at 03:30 and showered. By 04:15 I was dressed and had packed up a few things to help me pass the time during the day (

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125367362721220342005-08-29T21:53:00.000-04:002005-08-29T22:02:42.726-04:00

12:15We got up this morning and poor Nicole could only have coffee without sugar or cream. I, on the other hand, was allowed to eat. I tried to get up early so I could fix my meal and not have to eat in front of her, but I didn’t succeed because as soon as I was out of the shower she got up. Her breakfast consisted of Ensure and plain coffee….. Yum? Not!!!We went to our 09:30 appointment with

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125347165546246992005-08-29T16:13:00.000-04:002005-08-29T16:31:58.653-04:00

13:25We got up this morning and poor Nicole could only have coffee without sugar or cream. I, on the other hand, was allowed to eat. I tried to get up early so I could fix my meal and not have to eat in front of her, but I didn’t succeed because as soon as I was out of the shower she got up. Her breakfast consisted of Ensure and plain coffee….. Yum? Not!!!We went to our 09:30 appointment with

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125298722631888802005-08-28T23:37:00.000-04:002005-12-28T16:17:36.566-05:00

The title is a mere reference to the H-E-A-T! Aye ya yaye! 111 degrees today! The good news is there is practically no humidity. The bad news is it’s still hot. Your lips get dry, your throat gets dry, and if you don’t drink a lot of water you feel and get totally wiped out.Today was a do-whatever-the-heck-you-want day. We got up around 8am, had a leisurely breakfast, showered and dressed, and

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125277324015733712005-08-27T20:45:00.000-04:002005-12-28T16:13:52.460-05:00

Well, here we are, finally, in H-O-T (as in hot as hell!) Scottsdale, AZ, where it’s a cool 109 degrees. Uh huh, you read right, H-O-T!!! The flight here was pretty uneventful as flights come. We left Dulles a little late, made the time up in the air on the way to Denver, switched planes, and left on time for Phoenix. This business of airlines no longer offering meals on planes is for the birds.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125266842799364492005-08-26T22:59:00.000-04:002005-08-28T18:07:22.806-04:00

Other than momentary occurrences of elevated emotional responses, nothing spectacular happened until tonight. Nicole had bought a cute sundress for AZ, and gave it to me at the beginning of the week to get cleaned and pressed for the trip. I took it to our dry cleaners. The dress was supposed to be ready for pickup yesterday. I forgot to get it. I forgot to get it today, too.So here we are, it’s

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1125026413910958112005-08-25T22:54:00.000-04:002005-08-28T12:25:27.130-04:00

The words aren't mine. They belong to Matt Kailey who wrote Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide To The Transsexual Experience. But since the words kind of lend themselves to what I'm about to blog about I will use them.Nicole's been on hormones for a little over two years now. In the last month she's had to taper of and be clear of them for three weeks prior to surgery. (Which, BTW, is

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1124674594124966502005-08-21T21:08:00.000-04:002006-08-11T14:39:16.490-04:00

an·tic·i·pa·tion - expectant waiting: the feeling of looking forward, usually excitedly or eagerly, to something that is going to happenLast night a dozen or so of our friends held a party for Nicole to celebrate her surgery next week. It was a really nice get together, and it was also great to have her good friends around to celebrate with some good brew and some good food. After the food we sat

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1124575180384163112005-08-20T17:39:00.000-04:002005-08-21T21:22:02.946-04:00

It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it? What will happen once Nicole gets her "membership card?" Am I worried about it? Not really. Do I wonder about it? Yes; I'd be lying and silly not to. I'm curious as to how she'll grow as a result of this new experience. I mean, once she has that card she'll be putting things behind her. I'm not the only one thinking about this. I know her friends are,

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1124073407244457742005-08-14T21:54:00.000-04:002005-08-14T22:38:42.440-04:00

Ain't that the truth! Well, here we are. Two weeks before surgery. She can't wait. She keeps reminding me about the countdown - so many days, so many hours, so many minutes. It's kind of cute. We're continually thinking of things we need to remember to bring. The doctor sent her a list of stuff to get... some RXs and some over-the-counter stuff. I've started a list of things to pack and things to

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1123507767380014772005-08-08T09:27:00.000-04:002005-08-08T21:13:07.263-04:00

I read The Little Prince when I was a child. I read it often. I loved it! One thing that I always took to heart from that book was when he says, "Let your heart see what your eyes cannot."Last Saturday night was the monthly TGEA meeting. We had a guest speaker, Rusty, who is a counselor. He's an LCSW. He also told us he is a gay man. He talked about coming out: coming out to self, coming out to

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1123274923049693622005-08-05T16:41:00.000-04:002005-08-05T21:00:35.470-04:00

What's that song Sly and the Family Stone recorded? The one about different strokes for different folks? Well this is about different views from different folks.Nicole worries about PMSing and something going wrong with her SRS which is scheduled for the end of this month. The only thing I've noticed about her so far is that she seems a little more on edge. But whether that's due to tapering off

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1122604325865119592005-07-28T22:29:00.000-04:002005-08-01T20:29:34.246-04:00

Many people have asked for copies of the vows we used in our wedding ceremony. Here they are:MineI promise to give you the best of myselfand to ask of you no more than you can give.I promise to respect you as your own personand to realize that your interests, desires and needsare no less important than my own.I promise to share with you my time and my attentionand to bring joy, strength and

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1122472889435490452005-07-27T08:49:00.000-04:002005-07-31T08:40:38.603-04:00

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone to discover that when we're not true to ourselves things can and do go wrong. But, when we are true to ourselves things can go very right and we find ourselves liking what we see in the mirror more and more. It never ceases to amaze me how hard it is for some of us to get that. Even better, it’s amazing how few of us are even open or aware enough to get that!

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1122342710317142642005-07-25T21:23:00.000-04:002005-07-25T21:53:30.170-04:00

While we did get married in February, we did so alone. We told our families after the fact. We told our friends after the fact. Frankly, we really didn't want to tell anyone ahead of time because we didn't want to set expectations what with our not knowing if MD would go through with it. But it did. So we then faced the disappointment of some friends and family that hadn't had the opportunity to

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1122140954645955812005-07-23T13:23:00.000-04:002005-07-25T21:28:02.370-04:00

First.... they say perception is reality, so.... uncle! I am not going to argue this one. :-)So, where were we? Ah, yes... the clues drew me to one conclusion: this might be the one. The end of 2004 confirmed this conclusion. Seriously, this turned into the one relationship I had wanted all my life; the kind of relationship I thought people dreamed of. It is an affirming relationship, very honest

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1121913484554559142005-07-20T21:07:00.000-04:002005-07-23T13:24:27.666-04:00

I don't think I ever talked with a person as much as I did with Nicole. We discussed everything under the sun. We found we shared values, likes, dislikes, so many things. We dated some more. After 90 days or so we had met each other's families, and I had met Nicole's kids. We met some of each other's friends, too. Nicole was very self-conscious when I would meet her in drab. It wasn’t often, but

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1121811659617877802005-07-19T17:15:00.000-04:002005-07-23T13:31:00.940-04:00

Well, I need to bring this herstory to the present quickly... so here goes.... It'll be a long one.In late January 2004 I had volunteered to coordinate speakers for Pride Day at work for a panel discussion on being transgender and being out on the job. GLBT organization at work was hosting a day-long series of events in June and this was but one. I thought about how to go about this, what to have

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1121599691497661592005-07-17T07:11:00.000-04:002005-07-17T07:28:39.803-04:00

Janet and I quickly became friends. We shared some things in common and had fun together. I learned much more about the 'T' in GLBT. I even became a sort of mild activist for transgender rights. My experience knowing Janet made me acutely aware of the biases and discrimination transgender people face. Heck, I’d lost a friend over it, and others friends sort of cooled their engines towards me as a

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1121044989740893412005-07-10T20:56:00.000-04:002005-07-25T22:03:49.716-04:00

Emailing with Janet opened up a whole new world that got me to today. That’s about the best way to describe it. We had corresponded for a week, exchanged phone numbers to talk, and then we decided to meet. After that she wanted to know if I was interested in dating. I figured, “why not?” She was interesting and we seemed to share some values.As I got to know Janet I found that I was a lot like a

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1121042988674944132005-07-10T20:27:00.000-04:002005-07-25T21:59:29.420-04:00

Gosh, where does one begin... I'm a lesbian. I didn't always know it. Not, at least, until I was in my 20's. I met this woman who caused me to question who I really was. I was 26 to be exact. It's been an interesting journey ever since. Sometimes up, sometimes down.I've been in three relationships up till now. The first lasted 3 years; the second lasted 5 years; and the last one was 5 years.

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8190256.post-1120496581589888992005-07-04T12:54:00.000-04:002005-07-19T17:18:03.193-04:00

I am going to start keeping a diary here. I want to document thoughts and such on Nicole's transition process. Maybe this will become part of the documentary I plan to do on the whole thing. I am not sure.Nicole is my spouse, my partner in life. She's a wonderful person about whom I will be writing, along with musings about my own self and my thoughts. For her perspective on things check out her

dgitaldivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12916205420502973949noreply@blogger.com